Luke Mason’s Arrival: The Story.

You may or may not have read my last entry on the Little Miss Party blog. It posted on July 6th. The irony of that blog…is that about 15 minutes after I posted it (which happened to be at 11:30pm on July 5th to be exact – stay with me here because we’ve got a lot of action coming…) my water broke. That’s right. I started to flood my dining room floor.
Let’s go backwards here for a moment…
I haven’t written a ton about my 2nd pregnancy because honestly, life’s been a bit too busy.  I posted a blog on how to prep for #2 and I will surely post many blogs down the road about having #2 but other then that, you know nothing. Well let me tell you this. The lil guy (who was a surprise, we did not find out the sex) was breeched. I couldn’t have been more ANTI C-section if I tried and this is because my first born came flying out after 4 big pushes in 25 minutes flat.
So I did everything in my power to try and flip the baby and deliver the way G-d created my body to. And here’s how I got no where fast…
Moxibustion – by Paul Kempisty — this is where they burn Chinese herbs that are incense like sticks by your feet. This failed miserably…and was expensive!


Flips in the pool – advised by my OB who said this could flip the babe. WRONG. Didn’t work.
Spinning babies – a website passed to me  by a few different people which has several extremely useful tips and techniques that you can do at home to turn your baby. Unfortunately, I have very little patience for these hokey pokey moves and probably could have dedicated much more time to attempting them but didn’t so here again was another failure.


I wondered through all of this if the way I treated my two pregnancies had anything to do with the position of the baby. With my first pregnancy I did everything in my power to take care of myself and provide a nice home in my belly for my lil man. This included cutting out coffee completely, yoga 3 times a week, 64 oz of water intake daily and bi weekly prenatal massages. Well second time around things were A bit different. With the LMP biz under way and a demanding toddler under my foot my focus on the baby was a bit different….1 coffee a day (sometimes chased with a sprinkle donut), about 10 oz of water in take daily, no yoga and prenatal massages when I had time. I believe only mother nature knows the true answer to how this stuff works…but if I had to guess…bet if I drank more water and did the yoga I would have had a baby turned the right side up.
So the last option pitched by my OB was a procedure called a version. This is where they try to turn the baby by massaging your stomach externally. The procedure is extremely low risk however is preformed in a hospital as it could induce labor. This is where we go back to current events…
July 3rd I was scheduled at NYU for my version. Timing was perfect because it was the holiday week of July 4th so my hubby had a couple days off to be with me. We dropped our son off with his grandparents and checked into the hospital for the first appointment that morning at 8am. I’m not going to get into the details of this procedure with you I’m just going to tell you it SUCKED. And guess what?  Baby didn’t turn. It was mentally and physically draining and was a huge let down. At this point, it was officially over and I had to buck up and accept that I was going under the knife which was scheduled for July 19th.
So we picked up the lil guy and head right back out to our house in Quogue where I spent about a day and a half in recovery.
***Note I’ve had my wonderful babysitter and LMP assistant Ali by my side for the entire summer except for this week of July 4th during which she took a much deserved vacation. She was supposed to be back out with me on the 5th but had asked if she could extend her trip…”NO problem” I told her!***
After a lovely 4th of July BBQ with friends my husband drove back to the city to spend a day at work. He was going to come right back out to the house on Friday so I would only be out there for one full day/night alone.
Well this is where things get a bit hairy…
After an awesome day at sunset beach my lil man and I had dinner and I tucked him into bed nice and tight. This was when I sat down at my dining room table to write the blog about my fabulous day. As soon as I had pressed publish and posted the blog to Facebook I felt a little dance on my bladder and BOOM. Water was coming out of me like Niagara Falls. I was frozen in fear and did not know what to do. I did know I had to come up with a plan of action – and fast. First, I called my husband Adam. No answer. Obviously he was dead asleep. Next was the doctor…emergency line put me through to a message service…”My water broke!  Eeps!  Please have doc call me ASAP.” Next I tried Dov – aka Uncle Duck – who lives in our building, in hopes that he could wake the big guy up. No answer. Next up – Epstein. Another friend who lives in the building, no answer. Now while I’m making all of these phone calls I leaked my way upstairs to get changed into some dry clothes, grabbed a few towels and just threw them on top of the puddles. Next I called Ali. Asked if she could go to my apartment to wake up Adam. “I’m in Jersey at my parents house” she tells me. Holy hell. I was hoping Ali could meet us at the hospital to take Gavin so this was another wrench in my plan. “Let me think…I’ll call you back” I tell her rather calmly considering the situation. Now the doctor calls me back and I tell her the story…I’m out in Quogue and can get to NYU Hospital in about an hour and 20 minutes. Actually…I tell her to give me an hour and a half because I’ve gotta get my son into the car. WHAT?!?!?!?!###$$$%%%&&&****!!! She didn’t react well. “DON’T PANIC” I tell my doc. Click. I go downstairs, wake up Gavin and tell him we’re having a baby so we need to get into the car. He’s still asleep so I carry him in and when he realizes what’s going on he shouts “I’m gonna be a big brother, Yeah!”. Was pretty cute but no time to relish in this moment, we need to GO! I get in the car and speed off. I now call the doorman of my apartment building in the city. “Max – my water broke and I need to talk to Adam but he’s dead asleep. Can you buzz up and if he doesn’t answer can you run upstairs?” He buzzes and this wakes my sleepy bear. I get a call and first things first tell him to REMAIN CALM. “Get my hospital bag, go to the hospital and get us registered, I’ll be there soon”. Now Ali calls me back and tells me her mom has already put her in the car and is driving her to the hospital to be there for me. Now I’ve just simply got some time on my hands and am driving 80 miles an hour (passed two cops neither of which pulled me over) and I need someone to chat with. So I called my sister. I knew she’d be up at midnight while this was all going down. We get on the phone and she’s panicked. “Maybe you should call an ambulance?” she says. “If you are going to panic I’m going to have to hang up on you” I tell her. At this point, I start to have a contraction. Doesn’t feel great but I am managing. I tell my sister to write down the time of the contraction and keep track of every one to follow and then to email it to me so I can tell the doc when I arrive at the hospital. Well a whopping 6 minutes goes by and here comes another one…sh*t. This is not a great situation but I’ve gotta get through it. In the end Mandy did a GREAT job talking my ear off about plans for her wedding and other fun topics getting almost back to the city…UNTIL…I reach exit 20 on the Long Island Expressway – which is about 10 minutes from the Queens Midtown tunnel – and there is an accident and traffic has literally stopped. I mean stopped. Not moving at all. I get on the phone with Adam and  now he officially panics. He calls 911. The accident must have just happened because I was in the left hand lane where cars were slowly getting around the mess and once past we flew. So it held me up about 15 minutes and then I was on my way again. Now…I’ve got 911 calling me every 30 seconds. “Ma’am, put on your hazards so we can track you” they tell me. “I am FINE. I’m moving and am on my way – please don’t slow me down. I’m in pain but am almost there” I tell them calmly. I do not put on my hazards and I keep going. No one is getting in my way! Naturally Adam had some ants in his pants so he was waiting for me to exit the tunnel where he promptly hopped into the car and drove the rest of the 5 blocks to the hospital. I ran out and he waited with Gavin for Ali to arrive which she did 5 minutes later. I walked upstairs at 1:20am and said “I’m in labor and am having a baby”. They stuck me in a room and my contractions went into full force. Adam got upstairs and I kindly asked him to get a nurse because it seemed as though we were waiting a long time in a rather dire situation. A nurse and resident came in and when they did the exam on me they realized I was 7cm dilated. The look of panic came over both their faces and before I had time to do my usual whiney shtick about needles that IV was in my arm and my doctor who suddenly showed up out of no where was on the phone telling the people in the operating room that she was coming down RIGHT NOW and there was NO time to wait. I found myself on the operating table, needle in my back and away we go. Adam comes in dressed in  blue scrubs and sits down next to me. Was the C-section bad? No. It was fine. BUT I still hated every moment of it. The good news was it all happened so fast I didn’t have anymore time to dwell on the matter. Out came my beautiful son at 2:54am. Luke Mason Kertzner was sitting in the arms of my sobbing hubby who couldn’t have been more excited to have another boy. Born at 6 pounds, 0 oz and 19 inches long, our foursome is now complete. Needless to say…it was rather touch and go getting here…


Thank you to all of my family and friends for your well wishes, emails and calls. Your love and support through this wild ride will never be forgotten.